Tobirama's rap
by Kinoe-kun
Summary: After waking up from Edo Tensei, both the Nidaime and the Sandaime are slightly... intoxicated... and rope Hashirama into a song, much to Sasuke's displeasure... Crackfic!
1. Chapter 1

"Hey Haasssshiramma! You, fu-, fukkin Uchiha lover!" Hashirama frowned at his brother's lack of composure.  
"Tobirama, what are you- argh!" Tobirama lurched forwards and tackled him to the floor.  
"You fukk- fukkin sharingan lover!" He leapt back onto his feet. Orochimaru turned to Hashirama and whispered.  
"Is he always like this?" Hashirama frowned.  
"No, I can only guess that it's a side effect of the Impure World Reincarnation..."  
"Hashirama, get ooovver here! We gonna sing a sooong! Saru, you too!" The aged sandaime seemed to be suffering from the same condition too. He called out as he slung his arm over Tobirama's shoulder.  
"Yeeeah, come on, it'll be fuuuuuun!" Hashirama grumbled and walked over as Tobirama began to sing.

Nidaime Fine  
Sicker than your average Uchiha killer  
Twist Uchiha's heads off  
Uchihas fucking die Uchihas and dissenters  
Senju hating ninja  
Nidaime hooligans like Tobirama  
Dead right if they head right  
Screwing over Konoha every night  
Tobirama's been smooth since days of killing Uchiha  
Never lose  
Never choose to spare Uchiha who do something to us

Talk go through us Izuna walked to us  
Get on my death bus; screw us, screw us  
Yeah, Nidaime, Uchiha babies i don't give a fuck  
More child soldiers for us

Dare I not see at your damn curse of hatred  
Kill every clan member easily, busily  
Recently Uchihas fronting ain't saying nothing  
My jutsu Uchiha  
Suck it, Nidaime mafia, we're on it

*Sarutobi*  
Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

*Tobirama*  
I put Uchihas underground without a sound  
You minorities can't step to me  
Konoha need to go back to clan wars  
Never to be stealing money from you and me

Now who's the real Kage  
All your sharingan look like shit  
You Uchihas fuck off pricks  
Justu chuckers pushing up sticks  
Ooga booga, go back to your clan

I don't know why I hate Uchiha  
Oh yeah, it's because their sharingan  
And the curse of hatred

Quit throwing your jutsu on the sidewalk  
Uchihas need to learn some Senju talk

I don't give a fuck about your mama  
Pulling out her eyes ain't no drama  
It's probably different than the Uchiha sharingan she's used to  
Kill a Uchiha and steal a sharingan too

*Sarutobi*  
Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

*Hashirama*  
Everything you be saying is offensive to me  
As a proud Senju I use my right to free speech  
Tobirama you need to stop the hate  
After all we are one universal race

*Tobirama*  
Fuck off Hashirama  
I don't give a fuck about people of eye colors  
Get the fuck out you ain't my brother  
Why don't you go and fuck Madara  
When we're in the forest I can't even see ya

*Sarutobi*  
Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

Tobirama, Tobirama, can't you see  
Damn Uchihas need to hang from trees  
And I just love your racist ways  
I guess that's why their clan is dead and you're so great

*Tobirama*  
This is Tobirama here telling you Uchihas to take a long walk off a short pier  
Vote me, villagers, and I'm out of here

 **A/N: Yay! Parody! Spare me! I just had to do it!**

 **And not hating on Tobirama! Just imagine Sasuke's face if Tobirama sang this, he may have even shown emotions!**

 **Thanks to everyone on Discord who inspired me to do this! Kinoe out!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Haasssshirammer!" Hashirama sweatdropped, ignoring Tobirama's outburst to apologise to Sasuke.

"Listen, man, I'm sorry about my brother, he isn't normally like this, he just hates Uchiha because of Madara…"

"Damn right I do!" Tobirama slurred, before collapsing to the floor along with the Sandaime.

"Dammit Tobirama…" Hashirama muttered, as said Kage leapt back to his feet.

"Urrrgh… What happened?" Hashirama patted him on the shoulder.  
"Brother, I think this… Orochimaru didn't do a great job of finishing _that_ technique after all.

"Again? At least he let us keep our personalities this time… wait… is this an Uchiha that I see before me?" Hashirama sighed.

"Tobirama… He's on our side! Remember Kagami? He was a great guy!" Tobirama calmed down, though he still growled at Sasuke, who, being the conceited bitch he was, just had to add in to the conversation.

"And destroy Konoha." Hashirama and a recovered Hiruzen tried to hold Tobirama back, but it was too late.

"Yeah, ha-ha

Finally, someone let me out of my cage

Now time for me is nothing 'cause I am the Hokage

Now the Uchiha are there

Now you shouldn't be scared

I'ma take your bloodlines

And you're under my snare

Intangible

Bet you thought you were so great but I command you to

Extra enhanced view

Look, I'll make it all Konoha property

Make your plans

But I'm your man

All you different clans

Uchiha and Senju

Who you think is really winning here?

Picture an Uchiha gettin' the seat of Hokage

Like you lit the fuse

You think it's fictional?

Chakra based? Maybe

Spiritual

Nidaime who appears to you to steal your view no you're not crazy

Lifeless

The Uchiha clan is what this is

Priceless

To you because I'll make you die and shit

You like it?

Fingers smokin' righteous with one toke

You're not psychic among those

Who'll kill you with one blow

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad

I got sharingan in a bag

They're useless but not for long

Their future is coming on

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad

I got sharingan in a bag

They're useless but not for long

Their future is coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

It's coming on

The sharingan, the basics

Without, did you make it?

Allow me to make this

Child-like in nature

Sharingan

You have it or you don't, that's a fallacy

I'll take them

Every sprouting tree

Every child of peace

Every Uchiha I see

You see with your eyes

I see destruction and demise (that's right)

Corruption and hatred

Though Kagami was good, not the main but an exception he provides

For me as a guide

Y'all can see me now 'cause you just see with your eye

You perceive with your mind

That's the inner

So I'ma stick around with Sarutobi and be a mentor

Bust a few Uchiha so motherfuckers remember what my thought is

You brought all this

So you could survive when war is lawless (right here)

Feelings, sensations that you thought was dead

No sharingan, remember that they're still in your head

…You're a lucky bastard that I haven't taken them already."

 **A/N: Yeah! The 2-days anticipated sequel! Utter crap! A Gorillaz parody!**

 **This one goes out to all the Uchiha out there!**

 **Kinoe out!**


End file.
